Why it is so hard to leave an abusive relationship

<p>If you know someone who is in an abusive relationship, you may wonder why they are putting up with the abuse and just don&apos;t leave. You may also ask yourself this question if you are currently in a relationship abusive.<br/><br/>Domestic abuse is a pattern of behaviour in relationships where one partner maintains power and control over the other. The abuse consists of physical, emotional, sexual, economic, psychological or spiritual acts that threaten the partner. The partner who is at the receiving end of abuse is put down, belittled, intimidated, frightened, manipulated, hurt, shamed, blamed or injured.  <br/><br/>Domestic abuse occurs across gender, socioeconomic, ethnic, sexual, religious or cultural boundaries. Man can abuse women and women can abuse man. The same goes for anybody who identifies as non-binary. <br/><br/>In today&apos;s episode we look at two aspects of domestic abuse: the abuse cycle and the trauma bond. We also look at the connection between an insecure attachment style and being in an abusive relationship. We use the term &apos;victim&apos; or &apos;survivor&apos; (this term emphasises the capacity of people who are the receiving end of domestic abuse to develop strategies that help them manage the abuse).<br/><br/>Abuse in relationships usually unfolds gradually. The perpetrator is mostly experienced as charming, caring and loving in the early stages of the relationship.<br/><br/>In the abuse cycle we identify four typical phases: the tension building phase, the crisis point/assault, reconciliation/honeymoon phase and the return to &apos;normality&apos;/calm phase. <br/><br/>The glue that binds together perpetrator and victim is the trauma bond (also called Stockholm Syndrome). When in a situation that is experienced as dangerous our natural instinct is to turn towards the person closest to us for soothing. In abusive relationships that very person is also the source of the threat and fear. In the emotional confusion this causes for victims/survivors, they become increasingly anxio