Till Death Do Us Part | 'ask dorothy' | A Real Life Client Story | The WISDOM podcast S2 E49

'ask dorothy' <p style="text-align:center;">Till Death Do Us Part | A Real Life Client Story</p> The WISDOM podcast  Season 2 Episode 49 <p> </p> <p>There are always multiple perspectives to any story.  One objective in couples therapy is to help both individuals speak the truth; to no longer hold onto what they each have told themselves is permissible or acceptable, for whatever their reasons may be and to examine their part in the relationship breakdown or in this case, final death.</p> <p> </p> <p>In my work with couples therapy, the attention is also directed towards each individual member so that each may begin to examine themselves in a way that would allow for self-honesty and to be able to make the changes that are necessary to improve the relationship but also to improve upon one’s self and to live authentic and true.</p> <p> </p> <p>My other client; the husband was lost in his anger; the anger that was exacerbated by feelings of betrayal and his world crumbling around him. The only reason he claimed to remain under the same roof indefinitely, was to secure a means of seeing his children.</p> <p> </p> <p>When you have dishonesty, secrecy, lies, and deception; regardless of the reasons you tell yourself in order to make this okay, you actually build greater distance from your partner. You also create fragmentation from your authentic self. Every dishonest action, every act of deception builds a fortress of walls, disconnection and lies that forges a wedge; that makes it nearly impossible for you to be transparent. This is also called ‘living a double life’.</p> <p> </p> <p>This client kept secret his gambling addiction and a large debt he had accumulated whilst the couple was dating. He also kept hidden his binges on cocaine that he convinced himself were allowable and justified in dealing with his wife’s affair.</p> <p> </p> <p>If you are not able to be truthful and honest in what is the most important relationship you will ever have with another person; if you are convinced that you need to