The Power of the Pause

<p>When I was first diagnosed with cancer, I was in graduate school, living in a friend’s basement. Suddenly, I was overcome with nausea, and I felt...awful. Instead of being with that, my brain went into planning mode. I started researching the web for answers and networking about creating an action plan. There was no pause, just diving into control mode. </p><p> </p><p>Thankfully, my years meditation practice kicked in and reminded me to pause. I noticed a big void. Then big emotion. I started crying. I went to talk to my friends upstairs. I curled up in their bed and told them I had cancer. They hugged me as I cried. </p><p> </p><p><strong>I’ll never forget that. The intensity of letting myself pause, the tidal wave of emotions, the relief of finally BEING with what was happening at the moment... being with it fully and authentically. </strong></p><p> </p><p>Later in my life, I was a new nurse in a Level 1 Trauma Center at a busy urban hospital in California. I remember so clearly seeing my first death – an older man who had a heart attack at home came in by ambulance, and whose wife was still en route. After I completed my assigned duties, I went to the head of the bed while the busy resuscitation attempts were going on, and held his head in my hands, “It’s OK. I’m here. Everyone is doing everything they can. I am here for you. You are in the best hands possible. You just do what you need to do.” I told him he was loved, and it would be OK. </p><p> </p><p>The time of death was called. I did a fast debrief with the team, then stayed behind for a moment as others left to deal with pressing cases. </p><p> </p><p>I paused. I prayed. And then I left the room.  </p><p> </p><p><strong>This pause allowed me to feel in my body and my soul that he was a being, a fellow human being. Just like me. </strong></p><p> </p><p>I also recall pausing during joyful events, like when I gave the blessing of food at a friend’s wedding. I felt what was needed was a pause for reflection on the reason for the event: <i>a sacred union,