The Fragmented Treasure Of Suffering

Hello Hedge Schoolers,<br/><br/>Last week was a treat. An opportunity to breathe in the deep inquiries of my dear friend Lara. The words tangoing with my eyes. The sounds serenading my ears. As the song of Lara's inquiry sung its way into my heart, I found myself in the liminal space between doing and being. Witnessing the urge to do or be. It was here I noticed the fractures that lay within. The internal compartments I had created over time in response to life's lacerations. As the liminality buoyed me, I found myself drawn to this inquiry from Lara.<br/><br/>What is the best integration of humanness?<br/><br/>There are so many nuances to this question. Firstly, I only know one version of humanness. <br/><br/>Mine. Biased and limited. But solely mine.<br/><br/>The word 'best' jumped out at me. Part destination. Part journey. Also neither.<br/><br/>But the word that drove this question home for me was integration. It implied that I was fragmented. And I am. Often. I'm fragmented when I am out of integrity. I've written about <a href="https://hedgeschool.substack.com/p/finding-truth-in-the-mirror-of-integrity">integrity</a> before. Integrity, from the root word integer meaning whole, is how we live into our full shape. <br/><br/>Our complete form. <br/><br/>So why are we fragmented? Why do we Humpty Dumpty ourselves?<br/><br/>In part, protection. A shield from trauma. From grief. From life. <br/><br/>In other parts, projection. Mimicry as a means of social integration. As I watch my kids grow, I notice when they start to notice their differences. Yardsticking their biological hand against their peers, they start to shift away from natural tendencies. Shift towards assimilation. The tectonic plates slowly drifting away from oneness. <br/><br/>We talk openly about fiercely protecting our uniqueness but maybe fragmentation is a part of the process of growth. <br/><br/>Carl Jung would say fragmenting is when we lose touch with ourselves. A form of suffering where we forget the magic of our uniqueness for a time. Jung