October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

<p>Erica Schmittdiel is a licensed master social worker and CARE advocacy coordinator at <a href="https://twitter.com/msusafeplace">MSU Safe Place</a>. </p><p> </p><p>“A lot of us think of the physical aspect of domestic violence, and while that is certainly present, in some domestic violence relationships not everybody is physically abused,” says Schmittdiel. “And they may be experiencing things like emotional, verbal, or sexual abuse and isolation. Victims often are not really allowed to have much of a social life. It doesn't necessarily mean that they're locked in the basement, but maybe the abusive partner is making it difficult for them to spend time with family or friends or demands that they come home from work immediately afterwards.</p><p>“We see threats, we see stalking, we see intimidation, gaslighting, sabotaging school and work efforts, and economic abuse. And those are just a handful of examples, but really anything that an abusive person does to gain and maintain power and control in a relationship. And again, they may be using physical abuse or they may be able to gain that power and control through other means. A lot of times we use the test of whether the victim is free to leave the relationship. If the answer is no and they’re afraid of what her partner will do if she leaves the relationship, then that relationship is probably abusive.</p><p>“And we see abuse in all kinds of relationships: heterosexual relationships, same-sex relationships, and anybody can be a victim or survivor. While we see mostly women experience domestic violence, people of any gender can be victims.”</p><p>Schmittdiel details common traits of abusers and talks about how their terror is mostly about power and control.</p><p>“Some people are good at hiding that side of them and they only show it behind closed doors with their partner. A lot of abusers are very skilled at hiding this aspect of their personality and that's one way they get away with this behavior. That way if the survivor does come forward, people ar