Obsessed: Narcissists and Their Food

<p>It wasn’t until Tabitha had dinner at a friend’s house as a teenager that she realized there was something odd about how her family handled food. At her friend’s, there <em>was </em>food with a variety of healthy and even some unhealthy snacks. Her mother didn’t have a lock on the <em>“special food”</em> so no one could have access. Their mealtime was engaging and fun with everyone participating in the conversation. There were no snide remarks about eating too much or being forced to eat seconds. It was an enjoyable experience.</p> <p>But it wasn’t until years later, when Tabitha realized that her mother was narcissistic. Still, she didn’t make the connection between narcissism and food until she had her own family meals. And then, it struck her: her mother’s narcissism translated into an unhealthy obsession with food. This explained so much about Tabitha’s own anxious journey with food. The unhealthy food rules she grew up with were an extension of her mother’s controlling and manipulative behavior. Here’s how.</p> <ol> <li><strong>Food management.</strong> Tabitha’s mom disliked fish so she refused to serve it eventhough everyone else in the family loved it. Her mom’s food likes and dislikes dominated the menu, if she didn’t like something then it wasn’t to be served at all.</li> <li><strong>Food supremacy.</strong> Perhaps the oddest realization was that Tabitha’s mom expected that she would always be served the best and/or largest portion of food. Whether she cooked the food or not, her mom demanded the first pick.</li> <li><strong>Food as power.</strong> One morning Tabitha’s dad surprised the family by making a large pancake breakfast. Tabitha’s mom took one look at the meal with disgust on her face and started making herself eggs. When confronted, she said she didn’t like being told what to eat.</li> <li><strong>Food as entitlement.</strong> Even when Tabitha’s family was a guest at someone else’s house, her mom would find something wrong with the food being served. <em>She doesn’t like cheese and there