Love, Lust and Laughter - 01.10.23

<p style="font-weight:400;">GOALS FOR 2023: Integrating More Intimacy and Avoiding Bad Sex</p> <p style="font-weight:400;"> </p> <p style="font-weight:400;">To help Dr. Diana explore these goals for 2023, she welcomed back <a href='https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/ashley-mader-northampton-ma/256292'>Dr. Ashley Mader</a> to Love, Lust and Laughter. Dr. Ashely is a sex therapist, educator, and consultant (<a href='http://www.ourshine.org/'>www.ourshine.org</a>).</p> <p style="font-weight:400;"> </p> <p style="font-weight:400;">We two sex therapists talked about “How to Have Bad Sex” and how to turn those negatives into positives.</p> <p style="font-weight:400;"> </p> <p style="font-weight:400;">Having bad sex requires that you:</p> <ul style="font-weight:400;"><li>Compare Yourself to Others. Sexuality may be the most subjective aspect of human experience. Forget the magazine quizzes and the six-step sex books! If you want to do something useful for your sex life, focus on yourself and anyone you’re having sex with – and don’t turn away. Be fully present.</li> </ul> <p style="font-weight:400;"> </p> <ul style="font-weight:400;"><li>Ignore Your Body: The idea of a perfect body is fiction. You may be ignoring your body at the expense of genuine sexual pleasure and empowerment. It’s not easy, but working with the body you’ve got is a crucial part of improving your sex life. Get out of your head and into your body! Lots of sex surveys reveal that guys are not complaining about the size of their partner’s rear end. By the time a man wants to sleep with a woman, he finds her attractive. People struggle to get fully in their bodies. Some have trouble relaxing enough to enjoy what is being shared sexually. Learn to massage and be massaged. (You can find several sensual touch exercises in Chapter 5 of Dr. Diana’s book <a href='https://www.amazon.com/Love-Time-Corona-Therapist-Quarantine/dp/0932898998/'>Love in the Time of Corona: Advice from a Sex Therapist for Couples in Quarantine</a>).  This kind of touching