Grief - Regrets in Grief

TRANSCRIPT: Good morning, Five Minute Families. It is so good to be with you on this unseasonably warm day. We will soon be closing Clear View Retreat down for the winter, but we certainly hope that all the projects our volunteers have been diligently focusing on this year will allow this to be our last year to have to close during the cold winter months. So many pastors, missionaries, and grieving families reach out to us during these months, and we are continually praying and working toward being able to be open during their times of need. That’s where you come in. Please consider partnering with us because we bring the hope of Christ into families that need Him now more than ever. Check out us at clearviewretreat.org if you feel led to share your time or gifts to help families in both the storms and norms of life. One of those storms we all go through at some point in our lives is the death of a loved one. We are going to continue our series on grief today by discussing regrets after your loved one has died. How do we deal with the death of someone we love when the regrets seep in? First, let us clarify that we are not discussing guilt after the death of a loved one. What’s the difference between guilt and regret, you ask? Litsa Williams at WhatsYourGrief.com stated it this way, “…guilt occurs when we do something that we know is wrong while we are doing it, typically for ethical, moral, or legal reasons. Regret, on the other hand, is the emotion we experience when we look back on an action and feel we should or could have done something differently. It differs from guilt in that we didn’t know or feel at the time that we were doing something wrong, or we didn’t actually have control over the situation. Also, [regret] typically is not that we did something that falls in that morally or legally wrong category, but rather a benign action (or inaction) that we later wish was done differently based on an outcome.” For example, after my cousin died unexpectedly, I regretted not ever fulfilling her request that I