Episode 108 - Three Keys to Dealing with Defensiveness

<h2 data-pm-slice="0 0 []"><strong>Summary</strong></h2> <p class="">This week we explore three keys to dealing with defensiveness.</p> <p class=""> </p> <h2><strong>Transcript</strong></h2> <p class="">Hello and welcome to episode 108 of the Leadership Today podcast where each week we bring research to life in your leadership. This week we explore three keys to dealing with defensiveness.</p> <p class="">I am sure, like me, that you have needed to work with a defensive person before. Perhaps they just don’t want to hear some feedback that is being provided. Or they quickly blame others when something goes wrong. Maybe they are resistant to new initiatives and changes. All of this defensiveness can make a leader either escalate things or just try to ignore the person.</p> <p class="">The most important thing to appreciate is that defensiveness is functional. It serves a purpose. When we have done something wrong, defensiveness is an effort to minimise the perceived harm to ourselves and others. How does that work? Well, let’s say you come to me with a problem that I have caused. I might defensively respond that it is no big deal. That’s because I genuinely hope that it is no big deal. I’m even trying to convince myself that it’s no big deal. So I argue back, resist accepting feedback, misrepresent what happened, or even misremember what happened. That’s right - we can be so defensive that we actually change our memories of the event to protect ourselves. While those responses may protect me in the short term, it doesn’t change that what I have done may indeed be a big deal.</p> <p class="">Research demonstrates that defensiveness has a broad range of negative impacts. Team unity and collaboration suffer. The defensive individual’s connection with the workplace suffers. A key part of psychological safety is feeling you belong. The defensive individual reduces that sense of belonging through their actions. In addition, when faced with someone who has done something wrong, we tend to push them to one side and to exc