EP 387: How to Stop Attacking or Retreating During Times of Conflict with Mica

<p dir="ltr">This episode is about how to respond with curiosity to people who are not respecting you. Today’s caller, Mica, is looking for guidance on how she can change her response to become more empowered when it comes to people not using the preferred pronouns she has asked them to use. This call opens our awareness to non-binary individuals who like to be called they and them and not the traditional pronouns we may be used to and about how growing up in a restrictive environment impacts us as adults.</p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">[For show notes, go here: <a href= "http://christinehassler.com/episode387">Christinehassler.com/episode387</a>]</p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Identity, be it race, gender, or age, when we take it all out of the equation, all we are is love. Every single one of us is love. Often, it takes people who don’t fit into a mold to teach those who do fit in more of a mold that nothing matters but who someone’s essence is. Who we are as humans on this planet is just love and that’s it. That is what we all are here to learn.</p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">What scares most of us about conflict is that we think we have to be confrontational. If we don’t attack we think our only other option is to retreat or we feel we either have to charge ahead or collapse. That is a very common dynamic. The goal is to respond to people that aren’t respecting you with curiosity versus confrontation.</p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Curiosity is powerful. It is one of the most underused responses and ways to be. When we approach people with curiosity, they are able to hear. It allows us to make direct requests of them from a place of vulnerability and authenticity.</p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">The more we accept ourselves for who we are, the less oppression we face. It’s not that there isn’t oppression or people who don’t respect who we are. But, when we can really come into full self-acceptance, we can teach people how to treat us and respect us. W