Direct Comparison: A tale of a thousand masterstrokes

Hello Hedge School,<br/><br/>I've recently felt the call to share more publicly on social media. To speak my own truth. To hear my own voice. This yearning comes from a deep desire to share my own story. For so long, I have been a proxy for the stories of others. The shapeshifter in me harnessing and reflecting the energy of others. But lately, I've just felt the call to speak alive the words I write all the time. <br/><br/>Attentional Thumb Wars<br/><br/>My relationship with these platforms is a cagey one. I, like everyone else, has lost many an attention thumb war to scrolling. Boredom. Voyeurism. Genuine interest. They all play a part. But the most contentious area for me has been yard-sticking. <br/><br/>What do I mean by this? <br/><br/>Social media causes me to continually compare myself to others. This poem I wrote after catching myself in a doom scroll gives you a sense of the feeling I'm left with. I know I'm not alone.<br/><br/>When the mirror tells lies<br/><br/>I see the nothing in no thing<br/><br/>The return I yearn,<br/><br/>gives me no hope.<br/><br/>In desperation,<br/><br/>I seek to hold it all together.<br/><br/>But a filter<br/><br/>of non truth,<br/><br/>stumbles me in comparison.<br/><br/>I can never compete with<br/><br/>the thousand masterstrokes<br/><br/>of illusion.<br/><br/>Instead,<br/><br/>I stand.<br/><br/>Staring,<br/><br/>with no love at all<br/><br/>for the shape I hold in life.<br/><br/>I see this in my kids. As their consciousness comes more online, I see the inhibitions, shyness, and feelings of enoughness that come from comparing our hand with others. As a teacher, I get to see that further exacerbate as the teenage years take hold. The online identity is not merely an extension. It often IS the identity. With all its trickery of filters, angles, and behavioural validation, a social profile can make or break a teenager's existence. It is a sad state of affairs, and one that the big platforms need to take some responsibility for. <br/><br/>So why the shift in my relationship.<b