“At Least They Have the Browns”

<p>Cleveland fans mourn the loss of <a href="https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/30668781/sources-new-york-mets-finalizing-deal-acquire-ss-francisco-lindor-cleveland-indians">Francisco Lindor and Cookie Carrasco</a>, as the Mets made the hottest of hot stove moves last week. The Nationals, and Patti, come to terms with <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2021/01/09/washington-nationals-sign-kyle-schwarber/">Kyle Schwarber</a>, the target of one of Patti’s most vehement sports grudges. RIP <a href="https://www.nocryinginbball.com/s1/11">Tommy Lasorda</a>, he of the long and colorful Dodger history and the despicable denying of <a href="https://thestacks.deadspin.com/the-brief-life-and-complicated-death-of-tommy-lasordas-485999366">his son’s life and death</a>. Mookie Betts and Brianna Hammonds finally make it official after 15 years and one child.</p><p><br></p><p>Our boyfriend segment brings random themes of injuries, dreadlocks, bobbleheads, and grand slams. Pottymouth, in her best “if Pepé Le Pew were from Boston” voice, names <a href="https://www.eastvillagetimes.com/padres-outfielder-franchy-cordero-is-a-scouting-report-superstar/">Franchy Cordero</a> her Royals BF, he of the adorable hair and flashes of brilliance. Patti finally gets to claim outfielder <a href="https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/23002737/the-wild-ride-nationals-postseason-hero-michael-taylor">Michael A. Taylor</a>, now that he is no longer a Nat. A little weird to name a BF who is getting married in a few days, but it’s not like that. How did NCiB never name Phillies’ <a href="https://theathletic.com/1569099/2020/02/03/a-trip-home-with-andrew-mccutchen-who-recalls-the-roots-of-his-optimism-and-a-football-injury-hell-never-forget/">Andrew McCutcheon</a> a boyfriend until now?  He’s perfect for us and now Pottymouth’s got him. Patti has had her eye on <a href="https://www.mlb.com/news/alec-bohm-hits-first-big-league-hr">Alec Bohm</a>, the second coming of Jayson Werth, since August. </p><p><br></p><p>In winter baseball, w