57: Letting Go of Blame After a Breakup with Emma

<p>Today’s caller, Emma, is seeking guidance after a breakup. She would like to move forward with building her business but finds herself battling with self-doubt and procrastination. Emma is taking ownership of the issue and has a high-level of self-awareness about it, but she needs to uncover what is holding her back.  When we ask ourselves the question “what am I learning from this situation?” instead of “why did it happen to me?” we unlock something which is critical to our growth and healing. When a relationship ends, we are never 100% victims. We need to take 100% responsibility for the 50% which is our part. That said, we must do so without self-judgment or blame. We must accept we did the best we could with what we had at the time, and we now have an opportunity to do better moving forward. In future relationships, Emma has the opportunity to be more intimate. She was playing out the same patterns of withholding and people pleasing in her business, as she did in her marriage. Instead of being vulnerable she felt ashamed of sharing what was really going on in her life. People crave intimacy. Especially those who love us, care about us or want to get to know us. They want to feel like they are getting the real person. It’s hard to love someone who is wearing a mask or people pleasing all the time because we never know how they really feel. If you withhold of yourself through people pleasing, perfection or because you don’t trust people, it is time to examine that aspect of yourself. Emotional suppression holds energy back. Forgiveness can only begin after we bring acceptance and compassion to our feelings. We are unique but in many ways we are similar. We also have core pains and patterns that hold us back and once we move and shift those, we can move the needle in other parts of our lives. I address core pains and patterns in my Over It and On With It Mastery Course. <em>My personal mastery coaching course, Over It and On With It, is now open for registration until October 20th. The 6-week course includes