184: How to get on the same page as your co-parent

<span style="font-weight: 400">Do you sometimes wish your co-parent would join you on the respectful parenting journey you’re on?</span> &nbsp; <span style="font-weight: 400">Would things be easier if you were on the same page?</span> &nbsp; <span style="font-weight: 400">Does it seem like you try to convince them using all the research you’ve done respectful parenting…only to have them throw up the “I don’t think we have to make a big deal out of this” card?</span> &nbsp; <span style="font-weight: 400">Sarah and Declan had this dynamic in their relationship too.</span> &nbsp; <b>Knowing each other well isn’t always enough</b> <span style="font-weight: 400">They met when they were 10 and have been together for 15 years, so they know each other pretty well.  They had even talked about their values before they got married, and found alignment on many of them.</span> &nbsp; <span style="font-weight: 400">But Declan is a psychologist working with children and families, so he got the Big Veto.  (It turns out that psychology training focuses on evidence-based strategies to change behavior…which isn’t that hard to do with rewards and punishments.  I think a lot of psychologists show up in my programs because they realize that “evidence-based” doesn’t necessarily mean “good for us” or “aligned with my values”).</span> &nbsp; <span style="font-weight: 400">Sarah was struggling with the transition from two to three children, along with Declan’s full-time work, her own part-time work, and a major home renovation - they haven’t had a functional kitchen in two years.</span> &nbsp; <span style="font-weight: 400">Sarah knew she needed more support…but Declan wasn’t sure.  Until he realized that when you’re on a team, you don’t tell an injured player to suck it up.  You can’t tell the parent who is struggling to figure it out by themselves.  We all have a role to play in a family that meets everyone’s needs.</span> &nbsp; <b>A way to repair ruptures that meets both of their need