176: How to begin healing shame with A.J. Bond

<div class="ql-block" data-block-id="block-66e20c61-358c-4de8-8400-36c23e14df56">Do you ever feel ashamed? Many people find it among their most physical emotions, resulting in a big knot of tension or a hot flush that washes over their whole body. But what is shame, and where does it come from?</div> <div data-block-id="block-ab4845e3-527d-4798-a5ab-bd7b162527ca"> &nbsp; &nbsp; </div> <div class="ql-block" data-block-id="block-165c4a83-2328-4357-8b40-8889b46a6d64">I recently read a LOT of academic papers and books, and also popular books about shame, and the most helpful resource I found among all of the ones I read was written by my guest today, A.J. Bond. A.J. is a wrier and a filmmaker who experienced a shame-related breakthrough in his own therapy several years ago, and who subsequently became certified as a Healing Shame Practitioner through the Center for Healing Shame in Berkeley.</div> <div data-block-id="block-8da340aa-4a16-4af7-8466-da7431e2d935"> &nbsp; &nbsp; </div> <div class="ql-block" data-block-id="block-ec0a4b4a-d6d2-4861-9fa7-eab28155efe3">We discuss, among other things:</div> <ul> <li>The origins of shame all the way back in our childhoods</li> <li>What kinds of shame really are helpful in our lives</li> <li>How to heal from toxic shame so we don't pass it on to our own children</li> </ul><br/> &nbsp; AJ's book: <a class="ql-link" href="https://amzn.to/3V9PSV5" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Discomfortable: What is shame and how can we break its hold?</a> (Affiliate link) &nbsp; <div class="ql-block" data-block-id="block-22532138-9798-4b51-8f7c-62123a8d0848"><strong>Taming Your Triggers is back soon!</strong></div> <div class="ql-block" data-block-id="block-1445f1cf-e2f5-4daf-947c-2e36f737d5ec">As you're listening to this episode you may well hear the connections between the things you feel ashamed of and your triggered responses to your child's behavior. That's not a coincidence! When we were little we used to advocate for our needs as well