176 CIS-Centering, Pronouns and Leadership with Tamala Poljak

<p>After decades as an artist and musician, Tamala Poljak decided to become a therapist because they’re passionate about working with people who have felt <em>othered.</em></p> <p>Now they almost exclusively work with the LGBTQIA+ population and a lot with triadic partnerships, polyamory and different ways that people create family and home.</p> <p>Coming from a generation that couldn’t even imagine going by a pronoun that was more congruent with who they are, they help their clients find themselves and know what it feels like to be genuinely SEEN. </p> <p>In this conversation, Tamala and I talk about CIS-centering, pronouns and what it means to be a leader.</p> <p>Also, being present with the person in front of you and not be so quick to make an assumption about their identity based on whether they wear makeup or have muscles, or how they dress or style their hair.</p> <p>Listen in.</p> <h4>Tamala and I talk about</h4> <ul> <li><strong>Why an apology when you misgender someone means they have to take care of you — and what they <em>really</em> need from you</strong></li> </ul> <ul> <li>The practice of loving this body that carries your <em>soul</em>, not just “I have cellulite so I’m going to love myself”</li> </ul> <ul> <li><strong>Examining how we label “good,” “bad,” and “wrong” in the context of a world that says, “This is how it should be.”</strong></li> </ul> <ul> <li>The safety & relief created when a CIS hetero person puts their pronouns next to their name on a zoom call</li> </ul> <ul> <li><strong>But also, why it’s not just about getting the pronouns right, it’s about being present with actual people</strong></li> </ul> <ul> <li>The privilege CIS folks have to never have to think about what it means to be CIS gender</li> </ul> <ul> <li><strong>Why the leaders with the most impact are teachable as well as teachers</strong></li> </ul> <ul> <li>The responsibility we hold as dominant identities to educate ourselves and create spaces that make it safer for others to feel welcomed <em>as they are</em></li> <