077. The 5 Types of Mom Friends You Need with Emily Siegel

<p><em>“What are the things we need in a village to feel supported in our motherhood?”</em></p> <p>As humans, we crave connection. As moms, I swear we crave it tenfold. It feels good to be supported and seen and loved and understood wherever we are on our motherhood journeys. But there’s this message out there or a belief or a generational hangover or something that is holding us back from friendship…many moms feel like they have to mother alone, that that’s “just the way it is,” or even how it should be. But I believe that’s just not true. You are automatically part of a group when we become a mom. Whether that is in-person, online, or just energetically. You have millions of women surrounding you who get it. Women whom you can call “friend” for a moment or a season or a lifetime. But certain cultural messages or limiting beliefs can leave us feeling disconnected from that sisterhood. The village is automatic…and yet it also has to be created, too. How confusing. No wonder so many of us feel overwhelmed at the idea of making friends as adults…especially early on in motherhood or are going through a big life change like a move and are trying to sort out other details of our life at the same time.</p> <p>Or many of us fall into the trap of believing that one person can fill all of our needs for us…that there is just one human—a unicorn BFF or a spouse—who can be the support, see us, know us, &nbsp;love us, and understand us. A sort of “one stop shop” for friendship. But I’m not sure it’s fair to put all of that onto one person and expect them to be everything to us or for us. Don’t get me wrong, my husband (who is one of my best friends) and my BFF (who is now also a mom) make me feel loved, supported, seen, and understood without a shadow of a doubt. BUT. They aren’t the only ones who can do that for me. And as I diversified my friend circle (mostly through moms group and by connecting with moms I used to babysit or nanny for whose children are older) I inadvertently took some of the burden off of my husband and