Let's Talk About Money, Honey 💸

Expectations are all over the map in professional BDSM. There is a subtle (and not so subtle) undercurrent of wealth worship that underpins the perceived value of ourselves and others here. Dommes flex about how much money they make and rich subs are rewarded with praise and &#8216;best subby&#8217; status for being big spenders. <br/><br/>Money is a marker of success, yes, but it&#8217;s not the only one.<br/><br/>Financial domination is so inextricably tied into professional domination, it&#8217;s hard to know where one starts and the other stops. Having recently discovered that FinDom is actually a hard limit for me, it&#8217;s been so interesting re-visiting my role with fresh eyes.<br/><br/>Things like strong boundaries are often not rewarded financially yet they are actually signs of a great Domme or sub. For example, a Domme who doesn&#8217;t offer edging or last minute sessions will make less money than someone who does. As a subby, if you protect your budget and book only once a year, you may not build a close relationship with your Domme or get that coveted social media shout out from her. <br/><br/>Both of the examples above are situations where the people are doing what is best for them but the world of pro BDSM will not reward them for it.<br/><br/>Yes, yes, this is life, it isn&#8217;t fair and all that. I&#8217;m not arguing otherwise, just want to shine a light on the mechanisms here.<br/><br/>There are consistent undercurrents of insecurity about income on both sides of the D/s dynamic. Dommes worry about not making enough and subs worry about not spending enough. It seems that the only way out of this loop is to willingly and consciously exit.<br/><br/>Some people measure success by wealth. If you&#8217;re one of those people, it&#8217;s all good, income is a marker of success, I get it. If wealth is not your main focus than there are plenty of other things to concentrate on here. Yes, professional domination will always cost money but there are ways to perform it that don&#8217;t involve a heav