EP 264: Overcoming the Fear of Loss with Rachel

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This call is about how fear of commitment may truly be fear of loss. Today’s caller, Rachel, is collecting evidence about why she doesn’t want to be in a relationship because it will be too much work even though she says she would like to have a relationship. We talk about how the losses she experienced as a child may be coloring her perception of what a relationship will be like and how interdependent relationships can help us heal.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">[For show notes, go here:</span> <a href="http://christinehassler.com/episode-264"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">Christinehassler.com/episode264</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">]</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">People who felt very alone as children will lead a solitary life and think that it’s what they want because they want to avoid a wound about being lonely as a child. They stay in that energetic and continue living a lonely, solitary life because they don’t know any different. It keeps the old wound from coming up. It may not make a lot of logical sense but if you are someone who lives a solitary or lonely life, and you believe that you are an introvert and you like it better, is it really true? Or, is loneliness a wound from your childhood you are perpetuating in your adulthood?</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When we don’t have stability or structure in our life or childhood, things become overwhelming as an adult. It’s because there is still a traumatized child running the show. This is why having a lot going on, for someone who moved around a lot, had a parent that died, or didn’t have someone there to provide structure and stability, is hard. Just a few things can seem overwhelming.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Until we do healing work, our perception is influenced by past wounding because we expect to see what we have seen in the past.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><strong>Consider/Ask Yourself:</strong></p