#188: Anna Goldstein: The Voice in Your Head (Chapter #1) Reading my book

<div class="page" title="Page 11"> <div class="layoutArea"> <div class="column"> <p>I was twenty-five years old and living in a small studio apartment on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. As a girl who grew up in the suburbs of Maryland, I’d moved to New York City three years prior with big hopes and dreams for my future, but I was stumbling. I’d already had four different jobs, lived in three different apartments, and felt completely lost, alone, and isolated.</p> <p>I was consumed by the voice in my head that told me all the things that were wrong with me, and I was worried about my future. Would I ever find my way in my career? Would I ever have a meaningful romantic partnership? How was I going to survive in this city financially? What if things didn’t work out and I ended up poor, unhappy and alone?</p> <p>I obsessed over tracking my food; compulsively measured my belly, wrists, and chin, and constantly checked to see how much<br /> I weighed. I desperately wanted to be in a relationship to make me feel better and further distract me from my problems. But my biggest addiction was that I believed my negative thoughts.</p> </div> </div> <div class="layoutArea"> <div class="column"> <p>11</p> </div> </div> </div> <div class="page" title="Page 12"> <div class="layoutArea"> <div class="column"> <p>I wished there was a switch in my head that I could turn off. But I couldn’t. My nightly routine was to stare at the ceiling alone in the dark thinking I was seriously flawed. I was so consumed by the voice in my head that I spent several years like this— having trouble sleeping, not holding down a steady job, eating junk food, and drinking too much alcohol. I was so unhappy, my confidence plummeted.</p> <p>But deep down, I knew there was more for me. I just wasn’t sure what was in my way or how to access the strength within me. That little seed of believing there must be another way became my guiding light to seek answers and solutions to overcome my largest obstacle: my mind.</p> <p>I knew I wasn’t the only one strugg