EP 307: Fix Your Broken Heart Instead of Trying to Fix a Broken Relationship with Sarah

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">This episode is about looking inside and healing unresolved issues. Today’s caller, Sarah, went through a breakup and is having a hard time letting it go. We work through how when we don’t have our needs met as children we may fumble with our needs as an adult. If you are not going through a breakup right now you will relate to this conversation if you have ever tried to fix something in your life that was not working.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">[For show notes, go here:</span> <a href="http://christinehassler.com/episode307"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">Christinehassler.com/episode307</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">]</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Often, we attempt to work out our childhood wounds through dating and relationships. Unconsciously, we look for someone like mom or dad and think — oh this feels familiar. And, we confuse familiarity for love. But they are not the same thing. That is why we sometimes feel scared to do unfamiliar things. Because we confuse unfamiliarity with not being safe.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">We try to heal our childhood by drawing in people who remind us of it. This creates issue-based relationships that become addictive. We are looking for a relationship to fix the issue rather than doing self-honoring, internal work. When we do the work we avoid attracting those kinds of relationships in the first place.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Sometimes we have the expectation that we have to have a certain personality or be a certain way. When we are in our pain, we do not like the pain and we don’t like ourselves in the pain. And, judgment of ourselves and our process only slows us down. It makes things worse. Healing happens when we accept the phase we are in.</span></p> <p> </p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In a relationship, we all need total honesty, trust, loyalty, intimacy, and someone to hear us and see us without gas-