Recovery from Shame A Forty Year Journey of Addiction Recovery

The primary purpose of this work is to enable connections. I may never meet you or you me; and I believe we can still connect though the sharing. My disclaimer may be my biggest ah ha in recovery. I am not an expert in the science of recovery or spirituality, rather I have a 40-year recovery experience that may offer you a connection. I will tell this story though the framework of my life, my journey and what I have learned from many, many people. Some have great recovery, and some have died from addiction. Some were my family, some friends and many were strangers that I shared and connected with many. For example, when my Mother was in the Intensive Care Unit suffering from major strokes and I had to decide to resuscitate or not; I faced a most difficult decision. Until that moment, I thought of my mother’s comfort not my loss. Even though she suffered from food addiction and disease, we could connect for that moment in a way that was both joyful and sad. I offer this example of how this story will proceed. I hope to share the challenges that life offered me and how in recovery I learned and grew. Please also be clear, like the onion, I have peeled many layers back and there are many to go. That is the story of hope. My life is amazing, and I know if I am diligent it will continue to evolve, to grow, and to prosper. I was broken and I am healing. I will keep this an anonymous writing for many reasons which include protecting those in my life, honoring the traditions of recovery programs, and it is about the message not the messenger. These writings are intended to be a tool of connection, a glimmer of hope and a gift to those who may read it. I am not sure the best way for you to read these writings. Each writing is intended to stand alone. I wrote them as the spirit moved me. There was not an outline or a plan of topics, more an inspirational moment that each reading emerged from. I wrote each day of my 40th year in recovery. I think the topic names may be your best approach (see Contents starting on page 3), f