169: How to take care of yourself first with Liann Jensen

<span style="font-weight: 400">Liann did not have an easy entry into motherhood.  Her first child’s birth was pretty traumatic; it was followed by a miscarriage and then very quickly by another pregnancy.</span> &nbsp; <span style="font-weight: 400">And then by COVID.</span> &nbsp; <span style="font-weight: 400">She was already overwhelmed and then everyone was isolated…and suddenly Liann had a whole lot of anger that she hadn’t seen before.  She didn’t think things could be more difficult than they were in the immediate postpartum period…and then they were.</span> &nbsp; <span style="font-weight: 400">Her toddler, Hewitt, resented the new baby: Liann would be sitting on the couch nursing the baby and Hewitt is rolling on the floor shouting “NO BABY!  NO BABY!”</span> &nbsp; <span style="font-weight: 400">Transitions weren’t a problem before, but now they couldn’t make it out the door to go anywhere.</span> &nbsp; <span style="font-weight: 400">Liann doesn’t deny that she was looking for a quick fix.  She wanted Hewitt’s difficult behavior to stop, so she could stop feeling so freaking angry.</span> &nbsp; <span style="font-weight: 400">She listened to a few of my podcast episodes and realized that she had no self-compassion.  She saw that she could be compassionate toward other people in her life, but she was unable to extend that compassion to herself (and I know she’s not alone here: this is incredibly common among the parents I work with).  Every time one of her children had a meltdown it felt like a personal attack on her worth as a person.</span> &nbsp; <span style="font-weight: 400">It wasn’t a linear path for Liann to see things differently; she initially doubted that the new tools she was learning would be useful.  She was out on a hike with them when they started whining and she realized they were tired and hungry…and so was she…but how did that help?  </span> &nbsp; <span style="font-weight: 400">Then she started to believe that things </span><i><span sty