Bluntcake Episode: Are You Putting People On Pedestals?

<p>It&apos;s been called &quot;idealizing others&quot; or &quot;putting them on a pedastal&quot;. This is where a person perceives another to be much better than they are, including being perfect, being &quot;the one&quot;, or having some kind of special meaning.  These are positive illusions<br/><br/>This habit comes from the young parts of ourselves that idealized parents, peers, and authorities.  This happens as a way to try to create safety and comfort anxiety, as well as eliminate doubt or uncertainty the child doesn&apos;t know how to navigate.  <br/><br/>In trauma bonding, this is doing excessively about a person&apos;s partner, creating massive illusions and disillusions in the relationship.<br/><br/>This is how we learned to navigate the lack of safe people in our lives - we created illusions of them.<br/><br/>This also leads us to giving them a lot of influence, power, and responsibility over us.  Often, we tend to look to people we&apos;ve idealized for all the solutions and answers to our personal problems and challenges.  We look to be rescued.  And when they show up as the human being they are, we feel betrayed, dismayed, shocked, and disillusioned.<br/><br/>Often, that person hasn&apos;t done anything actually harmful or abusive.  In one experience from my life, the person had said no to me.  And that shocked me deeply.  Another person turned out they didn&apos;t like what I did.  <br/><br/>So, what do we do when this is happening?<br/><br/>1) Recognize and acknowledge to yourself that you may be idealizing someone, especially if you make them out to be perfect, flawless, or ignore their humanity in some way<br/><br/>2) Notice how your body feels around them.  Is there euphoria?  Do you feel swamped with admiration or affection?  Do you find yourself pushing away things that bother you or feel uncomfortable?  <br/><br/>3) Notice what expectations you are putting on them.  Are you expecting them to act a certain way?  Are you imagining them being or doing things a certain way?<br/><br/>4) Notice wha